Why Forgive?

Today I'd want to discuss the topic of embracing forgiveness. So, what exactly is forgiveness? To each person, forgiveness can means something different. In general, it entails deciding to let go of resentment and ideas of vengeance. Forgiveness may also be defined as the tranquillity and understanding which comes from blaming less, taking life less personally, and modifying your grievance story. You can choose to cling onto your rage, bitterness, and ideas of retaliation when someone you care about offends you, or you can choose to forgive them and go on.

Is there anyone who hasn't been hurt by another person's words or actions? Either your parents frequently chastised you as a child, a coworker who ruined a project, or your spouse who had an affair. Perhaps you've been through a traumatic situation, such as being physically or emotionally abused by someone whether close or distant to you. You may experience lingering resentment, bitterness, and even a desire for vengeance as a result of these traumas.

However, as these actions that hurt you could possibly be with you for a very long time, forgiveness will help decrease their hold on you and assist in liberating your mind from the power of the person who hurt you. Even feelings of understanding, empathy, and compassion towards the person who harmed you might start to develop after you have forgiven them.

Most people have misconceptions about what forgiveness is. I would try to dispel some of these myths/misconceptions regarding forgiving. Forgiveness does not imply forgetting because doing so would require completely deleting the section of the brain that controls memory (Hippocampus), which is only possible in extreme cases of permanent amnesia or through a surgical procedure called Lobotomy. It's also not necessary to make amends with the person who offended you in order to forgive them. Reconciling with the person who hurt you is never a requirement for forgiveness. It is possible to forgive someone while avoiding them completely till they behave differently. Additionally, it's common to confuse forgiving an injustice with condoning and accepting it. Not at all, you still have the option to let the law proceed according to its normal course if necessary.

Resentful, vengeful, and hostile grudges might develop if you continue to think about painful incidents or circumstances. You risk being overcome by your own bitterness or sense of injustice if you let negative emotions overpower the happy ones. This is why it is hard to forgive. Our innate sense of justice opposes the concept of forgiving others; instead, our natural instinct is to feel the urge to make things even or right. That is what makes forgiving others so difficult since it goes against our natural inclination, which is based on our strong sense of what is right or fair.

Furthermore, refusing to forgive is a strategy we use to regain our sense of control and power or dominance. We make ourselves open to being hurt, and holding onto our frustrations and anger can be a method for us to defend ourselves, and in the expectation that it would help us feel better or safer, hurt the other person back or make them pay for what they did. Truth is when we forgive someone, it may make us feel like our power is given up to the person who offended us. We let it all go which can be painful knowing you don't or won't do anything to the person who hurt you.

We could also find it difficult to forgive out of fear of being hurt once more. Maybe you don't want to be let down again since the same behaviours or acts keep happening and you're accustomed to them. Because of this, you probably end up isolating yourself, therefore preventing you from being able to forgive. You may have developed this defence mechanism over time to keep yourself from getting injured again.

It is possible to experience better health and mental tranquilly by letting go of past wrongs and bitterness. Forgiveness has been proven to benefit humans in a lot of ways. It can lead to healthier relationships, improved mental health, less anxiety, stress and hostility, lower blood pressure, fewer symptoms of depression, a stronger immune system, improved heart health, and improved self-esteem.

In the end, forgiving someone can restore your own personal strength by removing the power that they originally held in your life. In the end, forgiving someone is more about us than it is about the offender. Think back to the calm and tranquilly your soul experienced when you finally let go of that hurt. The hurt and the pain are genuine, but it is up to us how we handle them.